How To Let Go Of Fear (Part 3)
Last week we talked about how procrastination is caused by fear. In fact, fear is behind most of our problems. From floundering relationship and debt to our struggles with making the positive changes we know we need to make in our lives…Learn to let go of fear and you will experience far more joy in your life. Guaranteed.
Fear & Debt
Of course, debt may be a combination of several problems but more often than not, it comes from spending more than you earn. A shopping habit can have many causes:
- Anxiety stemming from a fear that something you want isn´t going to happen,
- Loneliness caused by a fear that you´re not good enough, or
- Wanting your life to be better than it is because you fear you´re not okay just the way you are.
Letting go of comfort can be hard if you fear discomfort, fear that you won´t be okay if your life is less comfortable or fear that others will judge you if you don´t own nice things.
Fear & Your Relationships
Relationships are a complex combination of feelings, thoughts, actions and insights. Still, when problems arise, it can be very important to take a good look at yourself before looking elsewhere.
Some of the fears that lead to relationship problems include, the fear of:
- letting go of control because you want to control the other person
- not being good enough
- abandonment stemming from trust issues
- not being accepted
- accepting the other person (which is actually a fear of control problem as well)
Fear & Positive Change
Whether you´re struggling with changing the way you eat, starting an exercise routine or making other positive lifestyle changes, the most common reasons for these struggles come from, a fear of:
- letting go of something else you´re used to doing (often referred to as “not having enough time”)
- discomfort (also referred to as “it´s just too hard”)
- missing out (in other words, giving into distractions)
There are often emotional issues as well, in which case the fears can be very similar to the ones that lead to the shopping habit and financial problems mentioned above.
Fear & Your Life Purpose
When it comes to life purpose, it could be, you don´t know what you want to do, which means you haven´t committed to really exploring your options just yet. Or you do know what you want to do and just haven´t taken the plunge.
Either way, a fear of failure or that you´re not good enough is what´s behind you not doing what needs to be done.
Fear & Stress
I know you have lots to do – but that´s not the real problem!
The truth is, how much we have to do is nothing more than an objective fact. And either you have enough time to get it done, or you don´t.
The real problem is that you worry about getting it done. You´re hanging on to an ideal that goes something like this:
I´m going to get it all done on time and I´m going to do it perfectly!
Deep down, though, you fear that this ideal will not come true.
So the fear you´re feeling is based on an ideal. BUT the ideal isn´t realistic!
Because you won´t get it ALL done, perfectly and on time. None of us ever does.
Accept the truth of that reality.
Know that you can do your very best to ensure you get some of it done. If you fall short, learn from the experience and understand that that´s just how the world works.
Not one of us is perfect. And the ideal doesn´t exist in real life.
Pretty much every other problem we face is some manifestation of the examples above.
not being good enough.
letting go of control.
not being okay as you are, or your life not being okay as it is.
some ideal inside your head not coming true.
All of these come from ideals and expectations, as well as a lack of trust in yourself and the present moment.
We need to practice letting go of unrealistic ideals and expectations. We need to accept and trust in ourselves and the moment we hold in our hands, right now.
When we manage that, overcoming problems becomes less of a struggle.
Problems are rooted in fear. Fear is rooted in ideals.
Let go of those ideals and fear loses its hold over you.
Check back next week when we´ll be talking about letting go of distraction and learning to focus again.